Some questions to reflect on:

- What drew me to invest some time in self-compassion?

- If I were to imagine myself being meaningfully more compassionate to myself at the end of this course, how might that feel?

- What in my life do I imagine might change if I were more compassionate to myself?

- As you move through your day today, try to notice points of emotional or physical constriction or tension in the body. Practice with sending your breath to those places, with the intention of the breath sending kindness.

Some questions to reflect on:

- On the days when I don’t feel like myself, which emotions are most frequently present?

- Do I have an emotional pattern that I can begin to notice?

- Are there some kind words that I really need to hear?

- What strategies do I use in my life to override emotions?

- Experiment today with a strategy to remind yourself to pause periodically and scan your experience (bodily sensations, emotions, thoughts) for what is here right now. We’re working to bring more mindfulness into our day. You could try post-it notes or a reminder popping up on your phone to cue you to pause.

Some questions to reflect on:

- What is one habit of self-criticism I have? Experiment with journaling from this voice.

- Now write a compassionate letter to yourself about the same topic.

- As you look at your schedule for the week, is there something that you think might trigger some inner criticism? Maybe a meeting you’re worried about or an encounter with someone who tends to make you a little harder on yourself? 

- See if you can schedule a few minutes before that event to offer some kind words to yourself or to read a self-compassionate letter to yourself.

Some questions to reflect on:

- Where in my life do I notice big resistance? Where in my day-to-day experience do I notice little acts of resistance? (Getting out of bed when the alarm goes off.)

- What might it look like to let go of some of this resistance? What might help me to practice doing that?

- Throughout the day today, try to bring your awareness to something you might be resisting. For example, right now I am pausing and scanning through my experience. I am noticing how I don’t want my baby to wake up from his nap right now because I want to keep working. I’m noticing tension in my jaw and my resistance to it being there. So ok, there is tension in my jaw. I can both try to let go and relax my jaw while also accepting that this is something I do sometimes. I can say “yes” to enjoying my work and also say “yes” to the fact that my baby will wake up soon. What can you observe and allow in your day today?

Some questions to reflect on:

- What do I typically criticize myself about? 

- What could I practice with saying instead? Is there a simple loving message I can offer?

- Is there one area of my life where I would like to prioritize offering kind words to myself? 

- Find something today or this week that is a little stressful to you. Schedule time before it to sit for a few minutes and notice what you are saying to yourself, what sensations and feelings are present in the body, and to intentionally offer some kind words to yourself. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- Write a note or thank you to someone that you care about and tell them why. You can send it or not. 

- Do a series of short “stealth meditations” offering loving-kindness to different people you encounter throughout the day today.

Some questions to reflect on:

- Write a self-compassionate letter to yourself to read about something coming up that you are feeling anxious about. Write from the perspective of “wisdom” or your “future self” if that is helpful.

- Continue the practice of finding something today that you might feel a little anxious about, and scheduling a few minutes to offer compassion to yourself before or after it. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- What (if anything) is between me and feeling totally at home in my body? 

- What comes up for me when I experiment with offering embodied compassion? What do I make of those observations?

- Find a couple of moments today to experiment, outside of meditation, with putting your hand on your heart in a difficult moment. In my experience, other people don’t even notice you doing it!

Some questions to reflect on:

- If it feels safe to do so, maybe journal a little on some of the challenges that you faced as a child.

- How does seeing these things through the lens of being an adult change your interpretation of the situation, if at all? 

- Are there any kind messages you would like to offer your inner child? 

- As you start to work with bringing awareness to your inner child, more memories may pop up. Consider jotting down or just bringing intentional awareness to them if that happens throughout your day. 

- You might even explore some old photos to help give yourself an image to direct your love and compassion to. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- Pick an emotion that you sense you might need to explore more either because you feel it often or never feel it. (Anger, sadness, jealousy, joy, etc).

- What are my early memories of feeling this way? 

- How did my caregivers respond when I felt this way? 

- What did my caregivers role model for me with this feeling?

- Experiment with a tool like the (free) How We Feel app or something that prompts you to notice and label the emotions you are feeling throughout the day.

Some questions to reflect on:

- What are three areas in my life where I have a habit of shooting the 2nd arrow? 

- When something difficult is happening today or this week, try to remember to notice if you are making it harder by adding self-judgment to the situation. See if you can invite in kindness.

Some questions to reflect on:

- Write about a moment of joy in your life. What was happening? Who was there? What did it smell like? What did you hear? What did you see? What did you feel?

- Pause throughout your day today to savor what is good around you. It can be small like the way that the light strikes a plant right now in the room you’re in, or the cozy feeling of your slippers, or the way it makes you feel to drink a cool glass of water. 

- Consider inviting someone in your life to practice “pause moments” with you. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- Spend some time journaling on the same or a different issue than what you meditated with. Sometimes the act of writing can help us to access something different than we do in meditation. Write about recognizing what is here, allowing it to be here, investigating where you feel it in the body, and offering nurturing kind words to the hurt. 

- Look for opportunities throughout your day to practice a mini-RAIN meditation, even as you are working or interacting with friends or family. Maybe you are in the grocery store line waiting to check out and you’re able to notice frustration, say yes to it, notice that it’s constricting your heart and making your jaw tense, and gently rub your jaw as you say, “This is hard right now. I’m here with you.” 

Some questions to reflect on:

- Write down three really specific things that you’re grateful for today. Flush out what makes you grateful for them.

- Do I feel called to start (or re-start) a regular gratitude practice? What might the benefits be for me? What would I like it to look like?

- Consider starting a gratitude practice in connection with others. Maybe you have a couple of friends you can have an email or text thread with that you use to share what you’re grateful for with each other. If you’re in a relationship, you could start a practice of leaving gratitude notes for one another in a specific place each day. It doesn't have to be big, just “Thank you for emptying the dishwasher. I noticed and appreciated it!”

Some questions to reflect on:

- What is my relationship with anger? 

- Am I a person who has trouble finding my anger? Is anger always right under the surface for me? 

- What might help me to pause when I am angry to choose my response? 

- What might help me to find my anger if I am having trouble accessing it? 

- In a moment when you feel anger or frustration coming up, work to pause, take a breath, and locate the emotion in the body. Direct love and kindness to that part of you that is angry or hurt. If this is new, it might be hard to remember. However, you can practice with milder irritations and work your way up to bigger triggers.

Some questions to reflect on:

- Make a list of five areas in your life where you want to start saying no. 

- Practice finishing the sentence, “I am not willing to…”.

- You might choose one example and write out a pretend dialogue where you practice setting and holding a boundary. 

- Choose something this week to say no to where you might have otherwise said yes. Notice what happens in your body when you say no or even just think about saying no. What sensations are present? What stories are happening in your mind? What are you believing about yourself or the other person or people involved? Can you practice tolerating these sensations? 

Some questions to reflect on:

- How does perfectionism show up in the different areas of my life right now, if at all? Work? School? Dating or relationships? Parenting? 

- What impact does my perfectionism have on the people around me? 

- Can I thank the perfectionist part of myself for the ways it is trying to protect me?

- Everything gets easier with practice. Is there a zone in your life where it feels safe to fail that you can intentionally practice with? For example, mine is gardening. I love it but there is also so much I don’t know. When I garden I can see my perfectionism rise up in a desire for this perfect image of a yard in my mind. Then the reality of learning sets in and that’s ok! Where in your life can you practice with failing and meeting yourself with compassion?

Some questions to reflect on:

- What are things from my past or current life that might be contributing to physical discomfort in my life? 

- How do I think my emotions interact with what shows up physically in my body?

- When you are experiencing physical pain, or a worsening of physical pain, experiment with asking yourself these three questions, a practice that I learned from Dr. John Stracks: 

 - What happened yesterday? 

- What is happening today? 

- What is happening tomorrow?

-Note anything stressful that might be happening on one of those days and bring compassion to yourself for what is difficult about it. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- What are some activities of “play” for me? Can I list at least five?

- Can I get really specific about what these activities might look like in my adult life? For example, if I loved swimming as a kid, where might I go to do that? When would it fit into my life?

- Is it possible to schedule an hour a week for play right now? If not, an hour every two weeks or once a month? Or maybe ten minutes a day?

- What do I notice about the rest of my week when I prioritize play?

Some questions to reflect on:: 

- Free-write for ten minutes about a relationship where you would like to explore forgiveness. - - - What do you need to say (whether you actually do or not) to them? 

- How can you convey the impact of their actions? 

- Is it possible to explore their humanity in this too? What might be the most generous interpretation of their behavior? 

- As you go about your day, notice when your interaction with someone brings constriction. Notice it in your body. 

Some questions to reflect on: 

- Write down 15 specific things that you are grateful for about your body and what it does for you. 

- Choose one particular part of the body to bring your grateful appreciation to today. Maybe it’s your hands. Notice all that they are doing for you. 

- Throughout the day 1) notice and bring awareness to that part of your body 2) send gratitude – this can be verbal (thank you hands for making my lunch) or somatic (send breath or loving energy to your hands).

Some questions to reflect on:

- Write a compassionate letter from your future self or a spiritual figure or someone who loves you, offering you compassion or forgiveness. 

- Look for a collection of really small things to forgive yourself for today to start to strengthen the pathway. For example, if you miss your exit on the highway and notice a critical voice, you can say to yourself, “Ok, forgiven, forgiven.” Look for those little moments to practice. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- What is my relationship with rest and productivity? Where does that come from?

- If I imagine raising a child that I love, what might I wish for their relationship with rest and productivity to look like? 

- Are there times that I override my body’s natural urge to rest and / or sleep? 

- Is there a change that I am looking to make or is this working for me?  

- Bring your curiosity today and experiment with what it might feel like to rest (as possible) whenever you are called to do so by your body. Do what you have to do, but on those moments on the margin, check in with yourself. If you’re called to rest, see how it feels to make that choice. 

Some questions to reflect on:

- Explore these reflection questions a little more in journaling:

- What does it feel like for me to give? 

- What does it feel like for me to receive? 

- What does it feel like for me to say no? 

- Look at your schedule for the week or month. Is there anything you want to move around so that you have periods of recovery after periods of intensity? For example, perhaps within a workday it’s possible to move meetings so the most stressful ones don’t happen back-to-back. 

Some questions to reflect on: 

- What are the practices that help me rest and recover? 

- What helps me to be kind and gentle with myself in difficult moments? 

- What helps me feel connected? 

- What gives me energy?

- What are five good go-to strategies for when I’m feeling really overwhelmed?

- Is there one hour this week that you can schedule for self-care, for what you most need this week? Or even fifteen minutes? If your schedule has some flexibility, is there more than an hour? 

Some questions to reflect on:

- Is there something I am being tough on myself about right now? Is there something difficult emotionally that I am going through? Is there physical discomfort in my body? 

- Using some of the tools that we have practiced with, let me bring kindness to myself right now. - Maybe it’s with loving touch, maybe it’s kind words, maybe it’s allowing whatever is here to be here. Maybe imagining that I am a friend sitting with the big feelings that are here. 

- Maybe I finish by inviting my future self to share with me, in writing, what I most long to hear. 

- Choose a phrase or small practice that you want to work with and give yourself a visual cue. Post it on the mirror. Email it to yourself. Set a calendar pop-up. For example, “May I be kind to myself.”

- Tell yourself “I love you” and “you did a great job today” right before you close your eyes to sleep.  

Some questions to reflect on:

- What is my relationship to movement? How is it affected by physical discomfort or ability, if at all? 

- How might movement (or even imagining movement) bring more compassion into my life? 

- How might movement during meditation help me to connect more to my body? 

- Notice throughout your day what movements feel best to you in your body. Notice how your body can be a vehicle for compassion. 

- Practice with small, compassionate movements throughout your day. For example, rolling out your shoulders or gently stretching your neck. As you do it, maybe think, “I’m stretching to bring love to my body.”

Some questions to reflect on:

- What is my relationship with sadness? How do I react when it shows up? 

- What helps me to meet my own sadness with compassion? 

- Is there something I feel sad about now or a loss that I’ve experienced that I would like to explore in journaling?

- Throughout this day or week, see if you can notice your first reaction to sadness when it arises. Is it resistance? Is it compassion? Maybe a combination of the two?

- What happens if you notice it and put a hand to your heart and say, “Hello sadness my old friend. May I offer you love. May I offer you kindness.”

Some questions to reflect on:

- What would it mean for me to trust the messages from my body more? 

- Are there any important messages my body is trying to share with me right now? 

- See if you can make a note throughout your day of what is happening in your body in different situations.

- What is happening when there is constriction or tension? 

- What is happening when there is spaciousness and openness in the body? 

- When does your body feel energy? 

- When does it feel drained? 

- When you feel physical pain or discomfort, what is happening? What were you thinking about when it arose?

Some questions to reflect on: 

- Where in life do I feel like my most authentic self? 

- If I could wave a wand, where in my life would I want my energy to go? Do I need to make a change? 

- If I was not afraid of failure, or perhaps if I was guaranteed success, what would I want to do with my time? 

- If you feel called to, consider if it would be helpful to schedule some time alone to reflect on your path. That might be an hour, or it might be a whole weekend. Meditate, journal, talk to a group of trusted friends / advisors as you set some intentions around what is next for you.